Jack in the Box - Reflective Commentary

Below is a reflective commentary discussing the process of my graduate film, how I feel about the final outcome, and what I've learned whilst working on this project.

My main goal for this project was to have a complete, finished film by the end. I set this as my main personal goal as I've really struggled in the past to actually finish projects, despite enjoying the process and the pre-production elements of animation. In both years two and three, I definitely had the hardest time simply getting a finished film and despite coming close in third year, I really wanted to have something polished for my graduate film. I felt like I started off so strongly in semester one, going over around 10-20 film ideas and cutting ones which I didn't feel were achievable. I had come up with some really exciting ideas (atleast to me) and was looking forward to production. However, things started getting rough pretty quickly after class presentations and pitches. I felt like my previously strong idea which I was excited about didn't stir a lot of interest, and most of the feedback was unsure or negative. This was likely due to my difficulty with presenting and explaining my idea, but it really set me off on a bad foot and caused me to change my story entirely. I think it made me less confident in my original idea, which is a shame because looking back now I think I should have gone for it and believed in myself more. That original idea is something I'm going to come back to after graduation and hopefully complete it in my own time. I am still happy with my changed idea, and making an adaptation of one of my favourite author's short stories has been fun and mostly kept me interested in the project. However, I'm disappointed with how far I strayed from my fairly well-planned schedule. I think there were a lot of things (illness, volunteering, time off for weddings and funerals) which I let get in the way and I quickly realised that even one or two days away from the project meant I was behind where I needed to be to achieve my goal of a fully realised film.

• So in terms of whether I achieved my goal; yes I think I did. Whilst my film is technically finished however, there is just so much I would have liked to have done but honestly don't think I was capable of achieving what I wanted in such a short time-frame. Looking back, I should have started animating as early as November/December. The film is, however, finished and that's a feat for me. I found the process incredibly difficult, though. As someone who is more interested in backgrounds and pre-production, actually animating is a very slow process and working entirely alone has been stressful and at times overwhelming. Whilst there were opportunities to work with others (students in lower years, for example), I found the added stress of delegating tasks and relying on others - who also have their own projects to work on - too much to handle. And so I found it simpler mentally to work alone, but this was then much more difficult physically. I'd have preferred to work on a group project if that had been a possibility, but I'm also happy I was able to make all the decisions by myself and work to my own schedule.
• Things changed a lot during production, the main elements being the look of the film itself and also story beats having to be shortened or cut entirely. The film started to stray further and further from the original text that inspired it, and I think this has actually been a positive thing as it's forced me to think outside the box to make things work. I wish I had been able to do the film entirely in colour as I had originally planned. In the development stage I had designed a colour palette I really liked and was inspired by the backgrounds of 101 Dalmatians in the use of flat, bright colours. However, in the end I didn't have time to colour the 20+ backgrounds I had drawn, so had to use black and white. This decision coincided with my watching of several older films such as Psycho and The Spiral Staircase and was actually a pleasant change. I think I'm the only one in my cohort to have done a black-and-white film and with the right editing it is a fun, deliberate decision which is a little bit different (even if the decision was partially borne out of time constraints!)
• There have been a few different big achievements for me as well as big challenges. The biggest achievement is simply finishing the film, as well as becoming a much better animator. I've never been a confident animator and feel like in the space of a few weeks I started to really improve, there are actually a few shots in my film which are really smooth (for me, atleast) and I found myself speeding up and becoming more accurate week-by-week. Challenges have been varied, and quite intense. In terms of the actual work, I've struggled with a lot of shots in my film trying to animate people with some level of subtlety. I generally don't like drawing people in simplified styles, so animating my initial character designs turned out to be much harder than I thought my simplistic design would present. I almost wish I had focused on something more abstract, or really leaned into my love of backgrounds and done a film entirely based on landscapes. Another massive challenge was just timing and availability. I found working in the studio difficult at times due to being quite sensitive to noise, and wish I had the facilities to do some more work from home. I just don't think there was enough time for my skill level to complete something I'm fully happy with.
• Some things I'd do differently (and will take into account when doing personal projects in the future) include actually sticking to my schedule 100%, being more strict with myself in terms of days off or how much work I had to complete in a set time, and being generally less precious with the look of the film. I already have ideas for future short films. With the skills I've gained even just from this final semester, as well as the knowledge of what I need to change for success, I'm confident I'll be able to make a film I'm proud of.

Overall I'm just feeling a lot of disappointment with my final project, which is a double edged sword as I'm feeling incredibly downtrodden but also motivated to try even harder toward achieving my career goals as a background artist - I think this film has taught me that I'm very much not an animator, but someone who can support an animated project in other, equally important, ways.